The beauty of not knowing anything

A month ago I was lost.

A week ago I was lost.

Today I am lost.

Today, I'm happily lost, wandering through a sunny autumn park, sipping leisurely on a cup of my favorite FAVORITE coffee. Old Crown's house blend, brewed by Mike on Anthony Blvd. in Fort Wayne. A month ago, if someone would have told me I was at my favorite park in Indiana, sipping on my favorite home brewed coffee, I would have laughed and called them cuckoo. But here I am, and I have a smile on my face. Here's why:

I lost my job, and though it was not entirely unexpected, it was still a kick in the skirt. And I thought to myself, why not take a couple weeks and spend it with family and old friends in Indiana? Then, the company who owes me a few grand, has not paid me. Oh, and unemployment hasn't gone through yet, either. Therefore I am at the mercy of credit. Not a good feeling - so I decided to stay in Indiana through Christmas. Maybe in 8 weeks I'll get my head on straight. Maybe not. Who knows, really?

But as I wandered through frustration and nerves, I realize that all this worry is draining the energy right out of me, and my mind is whirring around without the luxury of getting anywhere; no conclusions are to be had when I'm in this state. And that makes me even more frustrated. But here's the positive:

I opened my eyes to the possibilities that other venues have to offer, and looked around. My sister and I have similar goals (neither of us want to work for other people, and we would like to start our own business), and I would love to work for myself - that way when I don't get paid, it's my fault ; )

Last week I went to Defiance Ohio to visit my friend Rebecca, who recently opened her own shop. She's an artist, and a Jane of all trades, and her beautiful, eclectic shop reflects that. But more importantly, Rebecca has business sense. And if I were working full time at a meaningless job, I wouldn't be able to do what we are doing - I'll be working for her, learning from her how to run a small business, how to make soaps and candles, and possibly even metal work. There's nothing like learning at the hip of a master. And I wouldn't have this blessing in my life if it weren't for losing my job, not getting paid, and therefore being "stuck" in Indiana.

It's a funny little world, isn't it?