There's a show called Southern Belles on Soapnet. Please don't ask me why I'm watching soapnet at 11 p.m. on Saturday night, but go with it here. I am a newly implanted Southerner, and I am having not so much a culture shock, but a ridiculously pampered girl shock. I'M IN A WORLD FULL OF SOUTHERN BELLES! I, however, am not that person. I'm not a helpless, pampered, overly manicured piece of arm candy. I can do things for myself, and I don't need to be constantly yelling for a man to come and rescue me.
My World: Oh fuck, the toilet flusher thingie broke. I can't flush it without removing the damn lid and pulling the chain by hand. Ick. Hmm, what is a girl to do? Oh, I guess I'll try to fix the damn thing myself. A little grunt work, eyeball the situation, put the puzzle pieces together and - voila! - it's fixed.
The Southern Belle World: Oh my, my, the commode isn't flushing. Well, nobody needs to know that i go to the bathroom, so I'll just hope someone else notices that it's broken. Oh, shoot. There's toilet paper in the bowl, someone will know I've relieved myself. Oh, fiddle sticks. I guess I'll just yell for help. Heaven forbid I reach in there myself. I don't want to ruin my manicure, so I'll just yell for help. "SOMEONE, HELP! I CAN'T DO A THING FOR MYSELF! OH LORD!"
You see the difference? This is the world I am now living in. I went to get a pedicure the other day and sat next to a pampered housewife in full tennis garb. People actually wear that down here. And the worst part? There's a part of me that wants to open up to everyone and be a little vulnerable. And there's a little part of me that wants to wear the cute little tennis skirt while getting my nails done in the middle of the day while my kids are in school.
Now that doesn't mean I want to stop being self sufficient, yelling for help when I break a nail! But I think there could be a compromise there. But I guess that means opening myself up to possibilities. Oh God. What a week!
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