Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Grass is Greener, The Snow is Whiter . . .

I'm prepping for Christmas. By that, I mean I'm making candles for clients, and for my family as gifts, wrapping the gifts I've bought, and getting them ready to ship back home.

I'll be home for Christmas, only in my dreams. But before you feel too completely terrible for me, know that I'll be going home to the Arctic in January.

Everyone says I'm crazy, but I can't wait for some snow! I love the crunch of it on my boots, and the feel of a warm scarf and hat, and gloves. But lately, I've been really mulling over what it means to go home for a visit.

I'm one of the rare few who doesn't despise where I'm from. But I've more been thinking about what it's going to be like to wake up on Christmas morning, with not much to do. I suppose I'll put on a pot of coffee, and snuggle with Foster for a while. Probably take him to the dog park.

But then what? It's weird to think of spending Christmas alone, when I grew up in a family that is so steeped in tradition that it seems inconceivable that I won't be there for it, two years in a row. Not that I'm particularly torn up about it - it's just food for thought. There was a time when I couldn't imagine not being home.

But, the times, they are a'changin'.

I guess I might be jealous. All my friends are paired off, some spending their first Christmas with their boyfriends, fiances, lovers, etc. This is the time of year (especially) to have someone special in your life. This past year there have been a couple of strong candidates (I'm sure you all remember Bob . . . and the gym rat. Ugh.), but nothing that has stuck to the wall just yet. But at the same time, I don't just want any ole guy in my life just to have someone. I guess I'm looking for someone with a future full of possibilities.

Though there is a new strong possibility lurking around, I'm also learning from recent history and taking things slowly. Part of me wants to leap into the water; the part that is still licking its wounds is clinging tightly to the shore. This is not a bad thing, for sure!

Maybe it's all right to spend Christmas alone; I'm not alone truly, after all. But if you want to swing by my place and have some Christmas coffee and baked goods, Foster's and my door is always open.

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